Friday, 21 October 2011

Friday 21st October 14:47

33 days without M, 32 without P.

Last night I had sex with my partner twice and reached climax both times!
I've been in a really buoyant mood since Sunday.

I was half expecting Sunday to be something of a fluke and had planned to limit my orgasm to once per week or so for the next few weeks, but once we started kissing and touching each other, I couldn't hold back on my urge to penetrate her. It felt so natural, the sensitivity in my penis has definitely returned, plus I feel there's more to come.

If anyone's reading this blog and has doubts, I hope it can provide a source of optimism and motivation to get rid of this awful addiction.

Only a matter of weeks a go I had almost resigned myself to never being able to achieve climax during penetrative sex. However long it takes, 4,8 12, 16+ weeks, it will be worth it!

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Monday 17th October 2:01

28 days without M, 27 without P, 0 without O

Well what can I say, wow, I'm in awe. Tonight I successfully had sex with a woman (my ex/friends with benefits) for the first time in my life.
I may have only been around 60% erect and needed some stimulation from her hand mid-way through, but I've finally done it!

I realise that I'm not fully recovered, however it is a major landmark for me personally. I'll still keep away from P and M.

I'm not sure if it's helped or had any baring on my recovery, but since giving up P and M, I've been lifting weights/exercising 3 times a week, taking multivitamins, gingko biloba/ginseng and omega 3 fish oil.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Thursday 13th October 01:28
24 days without M, 23 without P.

I haven't got any changes to report today. Mood is still good, libido the same.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Tuesday 11th October
23 days without M, 22 without P.

I'm still in a good mood following yesterday's events. Libido feels pretty much the same, ie virtually zero.
At the end of this week I would have achieved a month without MPO - that will be quite a landmark, but let's not tempt fate.

Monday, 10 October 2011

Tuesday 11th October 01:31

22 days without M, 21 without P.

Just logging on here after spending the past few hours with my ex girlfriend. We got intimate, which lead to us attempting sex without aiming for orgasm. I'm definitely in the 'flat line' period. I felt a feeling in my balls and penis when just lying next to her and kissing. We attempted sex and I could only achieve a 60% erection, there was little sensation, I didn't reach orgasm. My ex was really understanding and caring throughout and didn't put any pressure on.

Not feeling down at all. The intimacy and cuddling felt good and has improved my mood. The flat line period shows that I'm one step closer to recovery.

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Sunday 9th October 20:02

21 day without M, 20 without P.

I'll bring you all up to date since my last blog. Not an awful lot to report in terms changes in mood libido, although today I woke up feeling a bit depressed, however that mood has steadily improved throughout the day.

I have quite a bit on my mind in regards to meeting my ex for this first time in 3 weeks after our relationship break - this issue must have an effect on my recovery.

In brief we've decided to meet up again, it was meant to be today, but due to circumstances she can't make this evening and is it now tomorrow.

What will be, will be.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Friday 7th October 00:52

18 days without M, 17 days without P.

Feeling good. Down below is generally the same. Today my mate said he had noticed improvement in me, apparently I'm "more outgoing and expressive" and "more open, fun and confident". Interesting observation.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Wednesday 5th October 23:54

17 days without M, 16 without P.

Recovery still seems a long way off. Mood was decent today, slept well last night, perhaps for too long.
Libido is still the same.

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Wednesday 5th October 00:16
Day 16 of no M, day 15 of no P.

Feeling pretty much the same as yesterday. Not much to report. Insomnia kept me awake most of last night.
I'm feeling tired right now, so hopefully will be able to get a good night's sleep.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Tuesday 4th October 00:47

15 days without M, 14 without P.
Felt quite motivated today. I ordered a new carpet for my room (something I've been saying I'll do for 2 years now) and emptied out my room ready for the delivery and fitting of the carpet in the morning.
Mood has been good today. Still suffering with insomnia though.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Sunday 2nd October 22:12
14 days without M, 13 without P.

Feeling quite proud about reaching this landmark. However I'm struggling with sleep and feeling a bit of anxiety.
Had a bad dream about my ex sleeping with another guy - I thought I was starting to getting over her and was actually going to text her the other day saying the break up was a good idea, I'm now losing my feelings for you.

Libido is still none existent.

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Saturday 1st October

13 days without M, 12 without P.

Nothing new to report apart from my mood is better than yesterday. Fast approaching the 2 week mark, this is actually going quite quick. Before I know it I'll be recovered.